If you like your heist movies with elaborate schemes, charming characters, witty dialog, and expensive suits, be prepared to settle for 1 out of 4.Takers is what you get when you take 1 part action movie cliché, 2 parts generic heist film, and 12 parts GQ photoshoot. And while they may have gotten the look right, there are a few too many things they got glaringly wrong.

Let’s talk about the crew, a quintessential element to crime flicks. Singer Chris Brown is believable as long as he sticks to reckless running-and-panicking, and T.I. is only believable as long as he sticks to playing T.I.. Michael Ealy and Idris Elba are talented actors doing the best they can with flat, predictable lines. (“We’re takers, gents. That’s what we do. We take.”) Paul Walker is as generic as ever, and if you cut his scenes out of the film, it would have little to no effect on the plot (not a great sign). And rounding out the crew is Hayden Christensen, who plays Paul-Walker-with-a-hat. We never learn what any of their specialties are, why they’re in the crew, or more importantly, why we should care about any of them.

“But Owen,” you may say, “even with flawed characters, surely the heist itself is intriguing?  An ingenious, unexpected,  flawlessly executed crime, the likes of which we the audience have never seen?” Curb your enthusiasm, my naive, starry-eyed youths. For early on, when T.I.’s character says “I say we go Italian Job on that ass,” you’ll be underwhelmed to know that this is not a metaphor. He literally means “Let’s use the plan from the movie, The Italian Job.” Someone should send Hollywood more blue plastic bins, because there are easier ways to recycle scripts.

I will give credit where credit is due: Takers is not without amusement.  There are enough well-done action scenes to make this a passable watch. Ladies can enjoy the veritable Macy’s parade of young male heartthrobs, while guys will enjoy the 13 seconds of Zoe Saldana screen time. If you can turn off the part of your brain that craves “developed characters” and “plot resolution,” there is definitely entertainment to be had.

It’s not a horrible movie, just unimpressive and trite. So while I can’t in good conscience recommend spending money on it, I could recommend catching Takers on cable TV a year or two from now. On a Wednesday night. When nothing else is on. While you’re folding laundry.